No matter how many moms I talk to it seems like there is a consensus that grocery shopping is one of the worst things imaginable when your kids are with you. It is like the theme song of psycho is emitting from them, coupled with the bulging eyes. “The tantrums!”, “the grabbing and breaking things”, “the whining”, “the time and annoyance” are all things I have heard and much, much more. Ladies and gentlemen, it does not have to be this way!!!
Why do your children throw fits in general? Usually because they want something they can’t have, right? When you are at the supermarket clutching your list and coupons, trying to find deals and brands you want, what is your child doing? They are either strapped in to the shopping cart, sitting in the back of the cart, walking aimlessly behind you and causing some sort of market mayhem or buckled into one of the new fancy car carts with the Dora stories playing on a small tv. But, honestly, as many times as I have seen those car carts in use the children are still whining for one thing or another and you can hear the mom saying “just watch your show” aka… “Leave me alone!”
Your children want what they always want… YOU! So, give them just that! Make them a part of the experience. I go grocery shopping with my four all the time and it is doable and I do not use strollers either. I have always been a “once my kids can walk- out go the strollers” kind of mom. Will there be time outs? Probably yes. Will it always be a piece of cake? Absolutely not. But at some point we need to start teaching our kids how to behave in public rather than strapping them in, preparing for the worst and hoping they are not too loud when they scream and possibly break 32 jars of pickles.
Teach your children to stay close. It is a black and white issue. You stay close or you go in time out and not a mean aggravated time out, but a “you need to sit here for a moment because I love you and I don’t want you to get lost” time out. Children are very smart and even mine at 18 months knew exactly what I was talking about when I told them why they had to sit there.
Engage your children in what you are doing. Let them help you find things, explain what colors the labels are, and show them letters on the labels. Ask them questions like they could answer you and laugh with them. Make a “grocery list” for them to mark things off on, let them rattle a box of mac’ n’ cheese for a while or have them pick some random small toy to carry around while they are in the store (making sure they understand that the toy is NOT coming home and they will just give it a tour of the store and then say goodbye when it is time to go).
My kids range from the 6 year old, who could probably do the whole grocery shopping trip on her own if I sent her in with the list, to a nearly two year old that loves to stop and look at fish and play with spice containers and boxes of anything that make noise. But, they all help. It is a team effort when we go and I am a captain of the team. As captain, or leader, I need to stay calm, show patience and show them how to grocery shop in a respectable manner. I teach them how to pick ripe fruit, the right color bananas, which veggies look best and let them choose between a couple of granola bar options and other things. If you give them some responsibility and controlled choices they feel like a million bucks. They feel like they went grocery shopping too, instead of going with mommy or daddy and watching them shop.
I have seen some horrid tantrums in stores where the moms just had to leave their full carts behind and go, but I guess that was just never an option to me. That is them winning and getting the upper hand and you can’t let them know that can happen. Be strong and go there knowing no matter what you ARE getting your groceries and it might take longer than you imagined, but it will happen. The worst tantrums I have seen are when the parent is simultaneously throwing a fit and it is hard to tell who is winning the academy award that day.
The trick is to stay calm. People understand that kids are kids and if they don’t? Well… they should find a “no kids allowed” grocery store. Good luck with that.
Everything doesn’t have to be a battle and grocery shopping with your kids doesn’t have to rank up there with the 10 things you hate to do. You can make it a fun and enjoyable learning experience for everyone and if you have them walk, it tires out those little legs and nap time is even quieter that day. Bonus!
Is it easier to go grocery shopping on my own? For sure! But, it is because it is quiet and I don’t have a million questions to answer and I can find things and move quicker, it isn’t because I don’t have to deal with screaming and fussy children.
So… new parents out there don’t worry! It is possible to get the groceries as your children grow. When they are small, they just sleep in their carseats, and then there is the strapped in the cart stage (which I would recommend a padded cart cover for) or stroller plus cart method (which I always went for during flu season just in case), and then let them get out and explore. Teach them from the beginning how to be responsible in public and the rewards will come back to you for years to come. For those reading this that have older children and want to stop the insanity just try baby steps. Let them out until they can’t seem to behave anymore and ask, CALMLY, if they need to go in the cart or go in time out. Changing a set behavior is always more challenging than establishing one from the beginning, but it can happen. I promise. It just takes a change of direction from you most of all.
With all of this said I have to share a funny grocery store story of my own. So, it was one of those grocery store runs in the middle of the week and I needed to make a dish for a new mom of twins that I needed to deliver that evening. My own twins were only about a year and a half old and I was big and pregnant with number four. I needed only four things at the store and so I lured them into a fun cart ride. They both sat in the back and we zoomed through the store like only a mommy driven racing car cart can. I found the sticks of butter and I was checking out cheese and yogurt choices when I glanced over my shoulder to see that both of my cute little girls had opened the package of stick butter, peeled down the paper edges, like a banana, and were happily munching on sticks of butter. After my stomach stopped churning, and my smile was adequately disguised, I took them away and cleaned their greasy little hands and mouth and got some new butter. I couldn’t believe it! Disgusting, but SO funny.
Here is to many a fun and adventurous grocery shopping trips in your future… without the meltdowns!!!
(picture above from clavelandleader.com)
2 comments:
When Kelly was a baby she got a hold of a dozen eggs and flicked the entire thing open. Oh the mess of a dozen eggs flying across the aisle. It was mayhem. I like these ideas. I let them grab things and put them in the cart, and of course, they pick the fruit (bossy little things), but today I'm going to have Sara manage the list. Thanks for sharing!
my guy has always gone everywhere with me. It seems that if you start it when they are young it's not such a big deal as they get older. Plus he LOVES putting things in the cart and picking out his snacks.
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