Every now and then in the chaos of three kids talking to me while the other one is upset about something, making dinner, doing a craft, sorting mail and wiping the dogs muddy winter paws I stand up to my husband gently grabbing me and forcing a moment for just us. I fight it sometimes, I do. I don’t like to be stopped in my tracks when I have so many things I need to do at once, but he is right. (Yes, I said that…) We just take a moment and sit in the eye of the storm whirling around us and find some quiet place. In those moments I am reminded that all of this started with just us.
(Our honeymoon in Jamaica)
It was, for over eight years, just the two of us. It is hard to remember when we would come home and just flop on the couch with our dinners and watch whatever we wanted. The weekends were open doors to fun and mischief of one kind or another and mornings sometimes lasted into the afternoons. It was great.
(A nap whenever we wanted)
Now our life is filled with endless tasks and exponentially less time for “us”. But, somehow, we are closer now than we ever were then. Maybe it was the numerous trials we have been through or the strength we have had to rely on in each other at times. It has been almost 15 years that we have been together and most of the time it still feels like we are dating. That is, of course, a blessing and a curse at times.
(Busy Daddy reading to Journey)
Last weekend we made it out to a movie for a little date. It wasn’t much, but it was a reminder of what once was typical and now is cherished. We don’t get out too often with just us. A few times a year maybe? There were always babies, finance issues, time issues, or just the downright inability to find someone that the girls would be comfortable with. They have only ever been watched by their grandparents, but they live nearly two hours away and thankfully make the jaunt with happy hearts to see their granddaughters each time. We used a neighbor once too and she did wonderful, but I felt so guilty that she was away from her own kids to watch mine. So, yes, I would love to get out more, but that isn’t always a feasible option.
(Our 5 year anniversary when we saw Wicked in Chicago)
We have created time at home though. We try to get the kids down at eight and then the rest of the evening is ours. We work on things together, we talk, we do bible study sometimes, watch a movie, work out and just be with each other. I think that is why we haven’t grown a part through all of this. We have always tried to make time for each other. When one of us is weak the other is strong… usually.
(Our seven year anniversary photo shoot that I surprised him with)
For those just starting out… enjoy the time alone because it may not always be that way.
For those new families out there… don’t forget how the family started. Spend time with your spouse even if there are things that need to be done all the time. For many, having children is a dream and even the most perfect dreams have obstacles.
For the more experienced families, like us… enjoy taking back some of that time that wasn’t available in recent years. Do your best not to fall into a pattern of “friendliness” with your spouse that lacks all that made you want to be together in the first place. Make time for the two of you even if it means a little less sleep, a little less social networking, or a bit of patience. You, together, are the rock your children are leaning on.
For those veteran couples… God Bless you… you made it! Go on a date and toast to all of us following behind you.
Now go find the one that you started the journey with and take a moment today.
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