My Cup is Overflowing

I had all sorts of ideas as to what my first actual post would be about on this site.  Would I talk about parenting, organizing, tips for this and that or would be it a piece about our summer and its complicated, but awesome adventures.  Then it hit me.  I just need to start at the beginning.  Not the beginning of my life, but the beginning of the journey that lead me to start this blog.

This is a cup!  Surprise!  No, really… this might look like just a cup, but it is MY cup.  My life, like any life, has been a series of twists and turns and sometimes I just found myself floating through it.  Maybe that was the mentality of the first couple years of having twins?  I don’t know.  Since the birth of my fourth child, sometime in the last weeks of pregnancy and the first few weeks of mothering the new love, I felt like I was being shaken awake.  My husband can attest to the fact that I started changing a bit, but he, like the awesome husband he is, came along for the ride.  The funny thing though is that it wasn’t so much a change as a coming out, a blossoming of me I guess.  It wasn’t fast or realized right away even, but it was happening. 

So, what is up with the cup you ask?  Well, I was surprised by an invitation to this volunteer brunch from my oldest daughter’s school in May.  I didn’t feel like I had volunteered all that much to deserve such an invitation and maybe I was invited by mistake, but I was determined to go.  I knew I would meet new people and have a new experience there and that I did!  I showed up to this beautiful house in Indianapolis with my stomach in knots. Many people do not know, but I am a very shy person and get extremely nervous in big crowds of even people I have known for years.  But, I always try and put myself out there because I know shyness will not get me anywhere in this life and I want to experience as much as possible.  We were not put here to be shy in a corner!  Anyway, I digress.  So, out of the car I went.  I didn’t know a single person in this crowded house except for two familiar faces that I had only smiled at before.  I was lead to this gorgeous little breakfast nook that was adorned with a kaleidoscope of glasses.  I was told to choose one.  Feeling a little like Indiana Jones being told to “choose wisely”, I carefully perused them all.  There were classical tall glasses, short sedentary looking ones, transparent wallflower types, and grossly oversized goblets.  Then I saw this one and it just spoke to me.  It was many different colors and not weak colors, but exciting and fun colors that complimented but stood out from one another.  I loved it and when I chose it and walked over to the drink area the small beaded tag was added to the bottom with my name on it, so everyone would know who I was…  The girl with the fun glass that they had never seen before.  That day I spoke with some amazing people about amazing things and when we all sat down to listen to the head of school she told us that our glasses were our gift to take home and that whatever we chose really said something about us as individuals. 

I carefully brought that glass home and put it on my windowsill and there it has sat all summer.  Through this summer so many amazing things have happened and what once was just a glass has become so much more.  It is opportunity, fun and experiences.  It is daring to put yourself out there and see what happens.  We all fall sometimes and we just don’t have to listen to the people that make fun of us for it.  Instead of fearing and feeling down by those people anymore I just pray that someday they are as happy as me and my family.  I have always been happy, but it wasn’t until recently that I was able to starting living my happiness I guess.

I am sure it is of no great coincidence that this all corresponds nicely with a journey my family has been on since we received an invitation to church from a friend last Christmas Eve.  We went thinking it might be nice and it has been transformative for our family.  I have never changed so much in so little a time for the good as I have in the last 8 months or so.  I have been able to let go of old battles that weighed heavy on me, accept things, forgive things, accept people for who they are and just be able to enjoy them for the parts that are good.  I have become a better mother, friend and all around person.  I have taken chances and we will see where those chances take me.  But, no matter what the outcome I am glad I am taking them.  Brian and I are in a better place after ten years that we ever have been before and life is amazing. 

There is not a dull moment in this house, and that is the truth, but beyond the bouts of whining, screaming, telling on one another and the endless to-do lists there is oceans of laughter, smiles and awesome memories being made.  The six of us are on this adventure together and I have been given the great task, with Brian, of raising four women that can contribute to this world in the best ways possible.  I have no doubts that they will either.

My cup I received that crazy May morning sits on my window sill that I pass so regularly and I am reminded of all the things that have filled it since then.  It overflows now and I don’t see it shrinking back anytime soon.  How is your cup?  Is it empty or maybe yours has a leak that keeps taking away your “you-ness” every time you seem to get a glimpse of it (that is not really a word, don’t even try looking it up!).  Maybe yours hovers at contentedly half full, or is it overflowing like mine? All I know is that before you can conquer the chaos of life you need to figure out the chaos of you.

Have a beautiful day friends!