Talking To the Heart

We were all created differently.  We look different, we think different, we perceive things different and, even though we umbrella classify emotions under static terms like “happy”, “sad”, “frustrated” and “love”, we feel different too.  One person’s trash is another’s treasure, right?  The same can be said for emotions.  What your significant other feels is fine, or even great, can leave you feeling empty and unappreciated. 

I have been married for 10 1/2 years now and together with this man for nearly 15.  You would think I know him well, and I do, but we are still mastering our ways of showing the other our affection and love in a way they perceive it best.  It is harder than you might think.  What one person craves in order to fill their “love bank”, so to speak, could seem like nonsense to the other, or shallow to the other, or it just might not be anywhere on their spectrum of “ways to show how much I care”.

So, www.5lovelanguages.com is a great site that you can go to and both you and your significant other can fill out a short quiz that will compile things to give you an idea of your “Love Language”.  There is a book that has been recommended to me for couples and another for children.  They have expanded to have a dating and work place edition as well if you are interested.  Brian and I took this quiz and I was able to predict his result rankings right away and he was surprised by mine.  Reading through the explanations it was interesting to see what helps a person that speaks each language, but what I found most interesting is what hurts the most for each kind of person.  Of course there are probably a million derivatives of these love languages, and the limited questions on the short quiz do not cover every aspect of our love palate, but it is a good tool for couples to use to start loving each other in a better received way.  It helped me understand Brian a bit better and it helped him discover more about me and what I need.  I am not big on putting out there what I need because I am better at concentrating on what others need more, but for a healthy marriage both parties need to really feel received love, not just given love.  I would tell any woman to talk to her husband about her needs, but I am better at giving advice than taking it in some areas.  Aren’t we all?  (please say yes!)

Take a few minutes of your hectic and wild days and take the short quiz, maybe even buy the book, and see how your relationship can grow even further.  No, I have not a single affiliation with this company.  I just like when I find a little something that could make this life a little richer.