Dreams, Dishes and Responsibilities

There are really no words to contend with the lyrics Skyla put together for her "concert" for us a few days ago. This girl writes songs ALL the time and she just recently decided to add in the accompaniment of the guitar.  This seven year old is going places!!!  

Some Decisions Are Just So Hard

Everyday we are bombarded with thousands of decisions.  Many are minute and insignificant when looked at in the broad spectrum and some are a little more weighted and can alter the events of the day or times ahead.  But, every once in a while you are faced with a decision that is big and you just want to run from it.  You want to hide and pretend it doesn’t exist and it isn’t the elephant in the room, sitting beside you in the van, at the computer or at the dinner table. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could just avoid it?  But, you can’t…

Why do some decisions just have to be so hard???   

My oldest daughter Skyla has had an interesting road of academics in her seven short years.  Looking back, she was never a typical child.  The novelty of parenting was evident when Brian and I didn’t pick up on cues sooner that our little girl skewed a bit from the typical road of progress.  She started reading and doing simple math when she was two and when I took her to preschool they immediately started talking to us about what her future might look like.  In all honesty it was exciting, but scary, to face decisions about what her path may look like at such a young age.

To make a very long story of schools, multiple exams and tests, applications, waiting, anxiety, nerves, confusion, hard work, happiness, accomplishment, hesitance and exhilaration short(ish) we found a beautiful school named Sycamore in Indianapolis for Skyla to start Kindergarten at in the fall of 2010.  Sycamore is a small, private school for the gifted that looked perfect for our little sunshine. 

First Day of Kindergarten

Here, she would be understood and challenged by teachers and administrators and it wouldn’t be a constant battle to make sure my daughter was actually being educated further and not left to read in the corner while the others are mentored.  During the first days at the school all of the promoted promises became evident as truths.  Sycamore staff, parents and fellow classmates fully accepted Skyla and it was as though she had always been there.  She was challenged and taken under their wing from the first day and onward.  Her kindergarten year was stuffed with educational opportunities she had never experienced before, loads of laughs, friends and healthy challenge.  She thrived in every which way. 

Fun trips to the zoo

Plays

That could not be said, in the full spectrum of reality, for us as parents however.  We couldn't have been happier with the school, but there were some set backs.  We were NOT expecting to have a child in private school.  My husband and I are products of the All American public school system and it honestly never occurred to us that our children would need private schooling.  The unexpected expense, paired with the horrible real-estate crisis we were teetering on the cusp of in Illinois, left our financial future in question.  This was accompanied by a 50 minute drive one way to the school when we had three younger daughters to figure schedules out for as well.  To say it was a logistical nightmare is an understatement.  We tried carpooling, but the inconsistency of that added to our anxieties more than aided them.  Then there was the issue of time away.  There was so much travel time that “awake hours” at home during the week could be counted on fingers.   

Science Fair 2012

BUT, there was a bright star that made us wear rose colored glasses toward the issues in all of this.  We saw Skyla blossoming and getting the education she needed and had been thirsting for.  When renewal time came around we applied for financial assistance, got what we could and buckled down for another year.  First grade has been equally amazing and so many worlds have opened up for her.  She loves her school, her teachers, her fellow students, the activities and everything about it. 

The friends

The discovery

But when the letter came this year we were in a different state than before.  Now we have three younger daughters all entering school as well.  Not only that, but we have two four year old readers that wow us everyday with their ideas and random commentary and play.  They too would reap so many benefits from a Sycamore education as well.  Unintentionally, we have kept the other three from so many activities that Skyla had done by their age, but it just wasn't possible and thus not even a thought. 

So, that letter stayed on my desk, peeking at me every time I sat down and taunting me until the last possible moment when my husband and I said, “Let’s go for it and see what financial aid comes back as and go from there for Skyla.”

But, honestly, we both knew there was no way we would be awarded what we needed for this family of six to continue on our path with the school, but I couldn’t make a decision based on assumptions.  You know what they say about assuming!  But, when the response came and the reality hit, all I did was cry.  It wasn’t what we had hoped and now the final decision we had been putting off was before us and had a timer on it. 

All I could do was pray for guidance.  I had to wade through the guttural guilt, the materialistic shame and the anxiety of the future and just ask…  “What do I do God?”

The answer was not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear.  We had to take her out.  We had to do what was best for all four of our girls and our family as a whole.  It is ugly and it hurts and it is and will be hard to leave and hard to transition, but Skyla is a remarkable kid and will do well.  With many prayers I know He will help guide her future with us, wherever that is. 

She should be starting at a brand new public school that opens in August by our house and I am speaking with the principal there to try and find a good curriculum fit for her.  I will stand by her and be her mom and advocate as always.  She will, hopefully, have transportation to and from school, be home at a “normal” time, be able to play with her sisters more and we will, as a family, have more time and resources to do things that help bridge the educational experiences gap. 

This has been extremely difficult, but the final decision was made this week and I wanted to get this out so we would be done with it.  This teetering has been going on for three months and now we are done. 

Every decision we make as parents creates a new variant of color and shape in her life.  Like pieces of stained glass, some edges can be piercing and sharp, but when pieced together and gazed upon in its entirety, the vision that I had when she was born will be manifested.  She will indeed have an amazing life.  We will walk forward from this as a family and are SO incredibly grateful for the time Skyla was able to grow, learn and discover at Sycamore.

This has been hanging on her wall since the day we found out she was going to Sycamore

* For my Sycamore Family readers out there- Please refrain from telling your children about this.  We have decided to leave it up to Skyla when she tells her classmates that she will not be going on with them next year.  Thank you!   

An Unexpected Turn Toward Destiny: My Juice Plus Story

I didn't think it could be done.  I didn't think I could, or should, add anything to my life list that already had on it: wife, mother of four, teacher of reading/writing/math/life to those four children, church volunteer, writer, web designer, twins club volunteer, school volunteer and a slew of other less specific but important roles.  But, a new ambition, a new mission, was put before me and though I tried, I could not ignore it. 

This is my Juice Plus+ Story

The story begins when my husband brought home some Juice Plus+ chews from his chiropractor late last year.  I ate them and didn’t think much of it.  About a month later my husband went to a health talk at his doctor’s office about wellness and nutrition and brought home some literature on Juice Plus+.  In my growing, and accelerating, push toward natural, organic, nutrient rich foods for our family, the brochure, featuring beautiful and colorful fruits and veggies, caught my eye and lured me into reading more.   

At this point I started broadcasting my curiosity and reached out to anyone who had heard of this product or was taking it.  I found one person that was taking it, many that were interested and a couple of people who were distributers.  I discovered a lecture titled “Journey to a Healthy Existence”, given by a physician, only a week away and I made room in my schedule to go.  Who doesn’t want a healthy existence, right? 

That lecture opened my eyes to things I didn’t know about the cabinet full of vitamins I was taking at home and also to the truly vital role fruits and vegetables play in my health.  There were more and more health studies mentioned and the findings continuously showed the irrelevance and possible danger of taking synthetic, fractioned and isolated vitamins.  Many studies also showed that there was a detriment in taking them completely contrary to its purpose.  The doctor then moved on to the importance of physical exercise, fruits and vegetables and had a slew of medical journal studies he reported findings on.  Toward the end of the talk he spoke about Juice Plus+ and how it was simply 25 different fruits, vegetables, berries, grapes and grains in their dehydrated form. 

When researchers were proving, through lengthy studies, that vitamins did NOT work, the evolution and popularity of juicing came about.  Juicing is a great idea.  It is whole fruits and vegetables blended together to give you a beautiful nutrient rich drink.  BUT, it was expensive and impractical for most.  Juice Plus+ was born from the idea of juicing.  The 25 different fruits, vegetables, berries and grapes are allowed to completely ripen on the plant (unlike much of the store bought produce that is picked before fully ripened to account for transportation time) because most nutrients are actually established in the fruits during those last days of growing.  The growers then pick and send the fruits and vegetables to be juiced and dehydrated.  Everything is done at a cold temperature until mild heat is applied for the unique dehydration process while ensuring that the enzymes are not damaged.  This allows nutrients to stay intact and not denature.  The encapsulation occurs and you can then store and have this whole food supplement every day giving you the variety of foods your body craves.

Juice Plus+ has been around for nearly 20 years and is available in 23 countries.  This is a food, not a drug.  It has a food label on it and is taxed as a food as well.  It is NOT a vitamin supplement.  Since 1996 there have been more than 20 gold standard clinical research studies conducted on this product by researchers at leading hospitals and universities around the world and published in the most prestigious medical journals.  Many studies are still being conducted today as they learn more and more benefits of the human body getting a consistent allowance of all of these nutrients.  The antioxidant abundant Juice Plus+ has been clinically proven to:

-         Absorb into the body

-         Reduce oxidative stress

-         Reduce key biomarkers of systemic inflammation

-         Support a healthy immune system

-         Help protect DNA

-         Support cardiovascular wellness

-         Support healthy skin and gums

I could go on and on about it, honestly.  But, I came home, did more research, talked with my husband and we made the healthful decision that we wanted Juice Plus+ for our family.  “Why?” you ask (besides the gigantic list of reasons above)? 

My walk of faith has been tied in with every avenue of my life and our health is no exception.  We were put here with all the food our bodies need and thrive on and over time we have walked away from the natural foods and toward synthetic “foods” in every shape, color and model.  The daily recommendation for fruits and vegetables is 7-13 servings.  PER DAY PEOPLE!  Who does that?  Who can do that?  Today it is nearly impossible to get the amount and variety of fruits and vegetables our bodies need because of availability, cost and quality.  It just isn’t possible (and that is coming from someone who eats a LOT of fruits and vegetables!). 

There are synthetics and chemicals in nearly everything we try and eat, use or put on our bodies.  This is both voluntary AND involuntary and all of these things produce even more free radicals, causing more oxidative stress and causing more DNA damage.  DNA damage is the chief reason we age and the primary reason for so many diseases out there.  Juice Plus+ helps to reduce oxidative stress and reduce DNA damage!    

How could I say No?  The science is there. The product is a food and it is an easier way to take what is naturally grown on our earth in addition to all the fruits and vegetables I already eat. 

As far as my children are concerned I couldn’t turn my back on something that could support their health on so many levels.  The infectious diseases out there today are so scary and they are mutating and developing everyday.  I want my children to have the best fighting chance against them with the fully enforced immune system we are designed to have.  Lucky me! (especially with my crew) Juice Plus+ has a wonderful Children’s Health Study that sponsors any child, ages 4-18, (and even someone attending college with a college email) to receive Juice Plus+ free for three years as long as a parent, grandparent or friend is on it as well!

NSA, the company that makes Juice Plus+, has a mission to “inspire healthy living around the world”.  I recently decided that I couldn’t not be a part of this movement, so I joined the Juice Plus+ team.  The people and the passion behind this product are truly inspiring, but it is the science and research behind the product that allows it to stand alone.   Originally, I became a distributor to save money for the six of us on Juice Plus+.  But, I learned more and then my eyes opened to all those around me that could benefit from this product and thrive from it. I realized I wanted everyone I loved to hear about this.  I wanted all my friends to hear about this.  I wanted those friends I haven’t even met yet to hear about this whole food supplement.  I know what it can do for them, but they don’t… yet! 

One thing I have learned (sometimes the hard way!) through all of my research on health and wellness in the last couple of years is that we don’t know what we don’t know and what we don't know CAN, and does, hurt us.  That is why, through wellness presentations, personal contacts and random opportunities, I hope to share what I now know about Juice Plus+.  I would love for everyone to hear about healthy living and how this product can help you and your family to bridge the gap between where you are and where you could be.  Anyone that knows me knows this is completely out of my comfort zone, but that is how much I believe in this product and how much I want you on it! 

Anyone and everyone, both far and near, can check out my website at www.nhardenjuiceplus.com  and explore all the research and facts.  If you’re interested, I’d love to schedule a “Web Walk” with you!  During a “Web Walk” I’m home on my computer and you’re home on yours.  I’ll call you and we can walk through my website together! You can also email or call me with the contact information on my site with any questions.  I would love to talk to you more about it!

Blessings, Health and Happiness to all of you!

Nellie

All The Little Cuties

Nothing says Easter like a quartet of little cuties, strutting their stuff in their beautiful dresses and smiles as we are off to celebrate the day with our life group.  Easter was a little ray of sunshine during a difficult time this year.

In the chaos of everything we forgot to buy a color set for dying eggs!  But, alas, daddy was to the rescue and conjured a dye made of 2C water, 1tbs. vinegar and 25 drops of food coloring.  We even dyed our brown organic eggs and they turned out better than any white eggs and Palmer food coloring set I had ever used.  The colors were rich and very deep.  We were all very happy with them.  Needless to say we are doing homemade dye from now on and sticking with our brown organic/ cage free eggs.  I always felt SO guilty buying white eggs every year for this anyway. 

Easter morning came and we really tried not to put too much relevance with the Easter Bunny this year because we wanted them to more concentrate on what Easter is really about.  We read lots of stories about Jesus and the first Easter.  We didn’t get rid of the Easter Bunny by any means, he just wasn’t the focus.  This year, due to varying ages and finding abilities, the girls found their basket on the kitchen island with one colored plastic egg in it.  This was the color that they were to go and find.  So, yellow Skyla, green Trinity, blue Lana and orange Journey went in search of their loot.  They each had 12 eggs, one giant chocolate bunny my husband insisted on and a gift to find.  The colored eggs were eaten for lunch that day and not hidden.  We have learned over time that actual eggs that are hidden tend to attract the many fury family members of this house.  Also, who hasn’t accidentally dyed something with a colored egg?  Still yummy at lunch though!  My kids could eat a dozen hard boiled eggs each.

Yay!  Easter morning!

Their baskets await with their cards from friends and grandparents

get ready, get set....

I can do it, I can do it.  (note:  all of these bunnies are still in the freezer with two bites out of their ears)

Then there were the dresses.  The girls love to get dressed up and all I hear is “take a picture of me!” over and over again.  It is so precious and so amazing to see all my ducks in a row looking so darn cute.

Sky experimenting with photography

We went to meet our amazing life group for Easter dinner.  There are 16 adults and 6 kids in this group, obviously I hold majority with kids and they were the only ones there that day.  They love the attention and all the people they get to play and spend time with.  This group has become such a special part of our family.

Ron is an awesome friend that is often used as a jungle gym.

The girls love Janie and all the fun and hugs she brings.

All in all it was a great Easter.  There was an egg hunt, laughter, surprise, fascination, pancakes, movies, naps, cooking, hugs and fellowship with our life group family. 

Tell me the most precious part of your Easter this year! 

A Change In Definition

The definition of our family has subtly and dramatically changed over the years.  Sometimes we see it happening and other times it just passes by without notice.  Our family is a mom, dad, first grade girl, two preschoolers and the baby.  But, the latter part of this definition is changing fast. 

Our little girl has never really been a baby.  With three older sisters she never stood a chance.  She came out ready to fight for position, wave her little finger and use those dramatic eyebrows she loves to utilize.  This past weekend, however, we noticed a huge change in our little girl. 

She is 2 ½ today and it was time for the potty training to really kick in.  She was getting to the point that she thought it was cool to go potty in her pants.  Oh No you don’t!  So, last Wednesday I had her go through the house and throw away ALL diapers.  That is right.  We went cold turkey for this girl.  As excepted it was a messy few days, but the idea clicked in her head and by this past Monday she was having no accidents.  I am sure the road is far from over, but I am so impressed with her first week. 

I finished my Potty Chart!!!!!  After each of my kids finished their first potty chart (20 times on the potty) they received a "potty present".  For Journey she picked a Leapster Explorer to have one (you guessed it!) just like her sisters.  She loves it and I find her on it all the time now.

This wasn’t it though.  She also decided, on her own, that bibs were a thing of the past.  No More bibs!  Her sisters do not wear them and she wasn’t going to any longer either. 

Oh, the days not so long ago.

Because of an encroaching expiration date on a Groupon we had to get her big girl mattress this past weekend as well.  Was this all really happening in a couple of little days?  Yes.  It was.

She said goodbye to her crib/day bed and hello to her big girl bed…  just like her sisters.  She was a happy little bug in the covers. 

Goodbye to the Last crib in my house.  (sigh...)

Hello big girl bed!

Now when you walk up my stairs you can see the rooms of four big girls, with big girl beds and you will not find a single diaper in my house.  I have not been able to say that for seven years.  Our definition has changed again.  I am stunned at how big, and still small, she is all at the same time. 

This family of a mom, dad and four fantastic and dramatically different girls will have many great adventures. 

Surprise To Me!

As you may have guessed, time for my husband and I is minimal at best.  The hours at night are used to complete projects and assignments and those few nights that aren’t are riddled with exhaustion.  It is an even more rare occasion to get out of the house on our own.  So, when an opportunity came along we did our best to configure schedules and find a way.  A dear friend of ours was leaving my husbands work place and there was a goodbye party for her planned for downtown one weekend. 

It was the first weekend of spring break, we were out of town for birthday celebrations and everything was a little hectic, but I knew that night we would have some adult time, at a restaurant with some friends and not have a curfew!  (SO many nights we didn’t take advantage of before children)

I don’t know about anyone else, but as much as I crave and want these times, I *hate* leaving my kids.  I know they are in great hands, but they are ultimately my responsibility and I always feel guilty having someone else watch them.  But, Brian dragged me out of there and we headed north for Indianapolis.  On the way to meet Brian’s co-workers and our friends he suggested that the dandelion smudged shirt I was wearing was not in the greatest shape and we should stop and get something else.  (He did not let me know ahead of time we were not going home before this gathering and thus I was not very prepared).  Anyone that knows me well knows I do not like spending money on me, especially for clothes.  One once every 12^th blue moon will I spend over $10 for any article of clothing.  It just kills me to hand over money for clothes when I imagine all the other things I could do with it.  Donate it, have family adventures, put it toward the black cloud of financing.  But, today he insisted and I wanted to look presentable with his friends and not like I was out mushroom hunting and playing in the fields only hours before…. like I was. 

We stopped and Brian was my personal shopper.  We didn’t have much time and his phone was exploding with text messages from people getting near the restaurant asking when our arrival was.  I tried on a rainbow of colors and then he helped me pick out accessories and we were on our way.  I changed Dirty Dancing Style in the car and we made it only 15 minutes late to Tappas Restaurant in Indy.  I hustled out of the car, straightened myself and we hastily headed over there to meet the others.  As we walked in and met the hostess, she asked how many would be dining.  My husband, like it was fully expected, said “table for two please.”

WHAT???

Oh, yes.  That husband of mine pulled a big one over on me.  It turned out the event had been cancelled, but he went forward with everything.  The texts were all a hoax and he just told people to text him so I would hear his phone.  I am sure the surprise look I was wearing was priceless.

We ate new and fun foods, drank some very fun drinks and laughed and talked.  Just the two of us.  It was great.

(This is what happens when you surprise me, feed me good food and a sparkly red and yummy drink!)

He also bought us tickets to go to a movie!  Another very seldom event.  We saw the Hunger Games that night and shared some cold stone treats. 

We made it home by 1am with very full bellies, full hearts from time together and some confused thoughts (thanks to the movie).

Every time I think I have him all figured out he can surprise me and I am reminded again why we have been together for 15 years.

Turning 7- Take One

What screams chaos more than children’s birthdays?  Literal screams!  I am reading the Little House series to our daughter right now and let me tell you, birthdays were a whole lot simpler back then.  It was a mild, but sacred and cherished, part of the actual birth-day when people were celebrated with small tokens of love and giving from loved ones. 

Well, we do not live in Laura Ingalls days, although I have always secretly wanted to for just a little while (until disease, cold or drought hit of course).  We live in 2012 where bigger, louder and more action can win out over the subtle.  So, for our daughter’s seventh birthday party for her friends we directed ourselves to SkyZone, which I have to admit, was pretty awesome!

This, of course, was the week following my dad’s passing and it was the only thing I had officially scheduled for the week.  The word hectic is an understatement as I attempted to add hours to my days to make up for lost time while still remembering what was going on in our family. 

But, we got there, the guests arrived and we all went for it.  Talk about Cathartic!!!  I am telling you, if you have some stress in your life get a trampoline.  A BIG one!  This place had wall to wall trampolines and, in fact, the walls were even trampolines.  The 6 of our crew and 10 of Skyla’s girlfriends from school bounced our way through the entire place and had a BLAST.

Getting instruction.  This poor guy was a little intimidated by so many young ladies.

Wow! So fun!

Brian and I were not about to sit on the sidelines for this one.  Note to self though- next time we go, wear something much lighter.  It gets hot quickly)

I still have some form left in me!

The foam pits were a hit

Climbing out was just as much fun as getting in.

Go Journey Go!

After an hour of jumping it was time for dessert, much needed drinks and gift opening.  I am not a huge fan of gift opening at a child’s party because the natives get restless and inevitably there is a duplicate or someone’s feelings get hurt.  I would rather open them at home, but the “party planner” had their routines and schedules.  The girls did well and I don’t think they could have huddled any closer to see what was inside those colorful bags and decorative paper.

This was a go to the store and grab a "cake" kind of party.  The girls loved the cupcakes though.  Skyla insisted this was a dog, but I think she offended the woman at Meijer who made the "bunny".  oops!

What is it? What is it???

Skyla thanked all of her friends for coming and as we left she said she had so much fun she would like next years party there as well.  Great time.  Great place and Great first celebration of our girl turning 7.  There are a few more to come with family, school and home.  Brace yourself.   

(Side note: it was not until about three days ago that I realized I didn’t even have guest/ treat bags for the girls that came.  I ALWAYS do some sort of gift for them.  So, to those that came I do apologize.  My head was not truly in the game that week, but I think everyone had a great time anyway.)

Locks Away

The Harden girls were LONG overdue for the annual trip to the salon.  Thanks to Disney’s creative team all of my girls wanted long, luscious hair they could gather and run with and use as lassos whenever found in imminent danger.  What Disney failed to capture were the tangles (ironic it being the name and all), the tortuous 10 minutes of hair brushing in the morning and night for at least three little girls with long enough hair to be, in fact, tangled. 

We had had enough and it was time for the “trim”.  “Hair cut” is a shunned phrase around these parts and the simple innocent mention of it will leave you with a team of hip holding little girls, all speaking in a multitude of ways, loudly, that they are NOT getting a hair cut, JUST a trim.

The trim appointments were made, rescheduled and made again and the day came.  I am pretty sure I did a little dance that morning, to myself of course, when it was hair brushing time and my most tender headed wailed when she only saw the brush. 

Before we left that morning I painted all 80 nails of these little girls with assorted patterns and colors and made the day a spa/girl day.  It was fun.  My youngest, age 2, was not participating in the trim’s, but she was just as excited as the others.  So, off we went!

The girls looked and felt great after their salon trip and so we were off to an outside lunch on the beautiful day. 

Love, love, love these fun times.  Some days I wish were shorter, but others I wish I could just stand still in for a while.