Responsibility in the Home
This will be my first installment of a small series I will be doing on responsibility. We have an obligation to our families to be responsible adults, but even more so, we have the responsibility to teach our children how to take ownership in situations and step forward when it is the right thing to do. Remember, they are just tiny adults and they will be at our eye level sooner than we would all like. I know everything gets blamed on parents, but I seriously see far too many adults out there without a shred of responsibility and I can’t help but wonder if it is because they were never taught. Sometimes the parents didn’t have any sense of accountability either, or the parents did everything for these people and thus they never had to learn. Some rebel from an overbearing parent and other, I suppose, just forget it along the way.
This first post today will be about what I try to do around the house to ensure my kids, at least, understand what responsibility is. You know if you read this blog that I do not walk around with a ruler in hand and not let a thing out of place. Things get wild and crazy around here daily, but I do like a straightened house at the end of the day. I have many reasons for this. One of which being that I need to know everything is put away so when I get a frantic summons of “Mommy! I forgot my doll with brown hair and the rainbow dress and I neeeeeed it!” I might have a better idea where it is!
One of the things we work on is the play room. Every night the playroom is cleaned up and things put in their place. Yes, every night. The girls know this and have never enjoyed the task, but they understand it is part of the day. Our playroom, too, is on the main floor just off the kitchen and toys inadvertently spill over into the attached living room. I have never had one of those special hidden playrooms where a door can be closed or a basement where you don’t have to see it, so when there is a mess it is under our noses. I try not to make it the signal for bedtime because that just drags their little feet slower. Instead, we do it right after dinner and then do a family game or just play around in the family room on the floor for a little while. They really look forward to that time together and so it can put a rush on cleaning up the 6 overturned toy bins. We tell them throughout the day that whatever mess you make you will be cleaning up. Of course they do not really connect that though until they look at this and are told to clean it up.
But, the toys are their job. We do help after we are done with our responsibilities because that is what we tell them they should do. If someone could use help and you have the time… help them.
Their bedrooms are a similar story. My twins, who share a room, create the aftermath of a category 5 hurricane in there. We are talking about two imaginative 4 year old girls though. But, before they come down in the morning they need to be dressed (their clothes are put out the night before), teeth brushed, hair done, bedroom cleaned and beds made. Of course this is a process that takes a while and I build upon. My six year old does great, the four year olds are pretty much there now and I do it with my two year old. She can’t run off, she needs to help with all the books and toys she pulls out in the morning. The twins just started making their beds in the last few months and I am so proud of them. These are double beds with big, heavy quilts from grandma on them. No, I don’t straighten them out because their work is exactly what it should be. A bed made by a four year old.
The girls also helped a lot with gardening over the summer, they help get the table ready for dinner, share in the cooking and love to sort out “who’s is what” in the laundry pile and folding washcloths.
We are always talking to the girls about how we all live in this house together and we all need to help out with the responsibilities. My six year old gets it more and more with every page that we read from the Little House On The Prairie series. She is amazed (because it IS amazing) how much responsibility they had at such young ages then. I am, sure she is thinking, “If Laura Ingalls can get up at 5am in the dead of winter to go outside in the dark to do barn chores when she is seven years old I can certainly make my bed and put my laundry away!”
When we don’t teach our kids responsibility we are taking something away from their future adult selves. Everything in life is a balance. Be crazy and wild and fun, but own the mess and take care of it afterwards!
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*(Next time I will be talking about social responsibilities with ourselves and our children)
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